Two nights ago I was in a bit of A Mood™️ and I decided to give a little air time to my frustrations on social media. The responses to my post got me thinking about how we react to people’s bodies, and feelings about their bodies, on social media. Fair warning: this is not your typical, predictable post about body image and Instagram models.
Understanding My Face
I was born with what’s clinically diagnosed as a “retracted chin”; instead of my chin extending out to match the shape of my forehead and nose, it retreats back under my lips. It’s a genetic defect and it’s also a feature I share with my Narcissist-with-a-capital-N father.
For most of my young life I could not figure out what was wrong with my face. I would stare at photos of myself with other friends with non-defected facial structure and I was absolutely stumped as to why my face looked so wrong. My own dysmorphia and distorted perception of myself made it hard to view my face as “mine”, let alone to understand its individual features. Discovering that my retracted chin is an actual, diagnosable, defect made me happy.
I wasn’t crazy. My face was fixable.
In the years since pinning down my facial defect, I have researched doctors. I am lucky to have a home base in Massachusetts — a state with some of the best medical facilities in the country, possibly the entire continent. I came close to saving up the roughly $5k that corrective surgery will cost but unfortunately had to spend my savings when the startup company I was working for in NYC could no longer support my salary.
That setback has been devastatingly frustrating in many ways.
For the most part, I have kept my plans to get corrective surgery to myself. We live in a culture that looks down upon people that choose to alter their bodies in many ways. People who choose cosmetic surgery are seen as vain, people who pierce and tattoo their bodies are seen as freaks, and people who are born transgender and choose to take hormones and/or pursue surgery face discrimination.